Hello and good morning (at least it’s morning for me). I thought I’d share a story about how the Universe (God, Great Spirit, The Source) is teaching me how not to get attached to things. We all have many lessons to learn in our lifetime, but some of them stand out more than others, some of them keep repeating in similar ways until we learn them. I am currently in the middle of learning this lesson and have been for years and years, hopefully talking to you will help you to understand your lessons that maybe stayed unnoticed before and hopefully it will help me to learn mine.
I started to notice this pattern only lately, even though it’s been going on for years. Let’s start from the beginning. 10 years ago I moved from Estonia to Italy leaving behind everything except for some clothes. It wasn’t that hard to leave old stuff behind, after all I was starting a new exiting chapter. Fast forward to our first own home. We decided to move away from Italy and back to my beloved Estonia, but we had to leave our apartment and rented a vacation home for some months. In the meantime we were supposed to sell our furniture, it was all custom made, we chose the materials and designs. The people who came for them had some kind of trouble and most of it got ruined by water in the storehouse so we got nothing for it, cause they moved it out of our home for free. I also lost a bunch of random stuff I didn’t care too much about, cause my husband told them they could take some stuff since again they were doing it for free. Another bunch of stuff was moved to a covered but not closed garage in the garden of my father-in-laws shop. From there many stuff was ruined and some was stolen by his best friend (yes, that’s correct and that is a whole other story). So at the end we couldn’t go to Estonia, cause we ran out of money and crashed at my parents-in-law.
Finally we got our own place again, but we left soon enough cause our neighbours were quite ehmm hostile…. It was half-furnished but we bought a new bedroom set, which we left there when we moved out.
Then we arrived in the last place we lived in Italy and when we moved to Bulgaria we couldn’t take much with us and we also had to leave behind the furniture, but I also left behind a lot of books (my Harry Potter collection 😭), all the plates, pots, pans etc. All the electronics like the vacuum cleaner, blender, iron and so on. This was the hardest, I am mostly sad for the books. The other stuff it’s just stuff and you can repurchase everything, but all the things have your energy and when you leave them behind it feels like I left a piece of me with them and now I need to fill all the new things with my energy. Not sure you guys understand what I mean but that’s how it feels.
And now we are here in Sofia (actually today I’m back in Veliko Tarnovo and I can bring back some of my stuff woot woot), I only brought with me stuff for two weeks, but life happens and it’s been 5 months without my clothes, computer, makeup, books and so on. It has been quite challenging for me, it gets frustrating to not to have much choice for my clothing and makeup. All my beautyblogger followers would drop dead knowing with how few makeup I’ve been living :/ But it’s been good, times like this always bring out the creativity :)
You know what is even weirder, that both my mom and granny are having same kind of troubles! This makes me think it’s not my lesson, but it’s one of those generation to generation lessons which makes it a lot harder to break the cycle. Will I be able to do that?
There is another part of this lesson to let go of the past. After some time in Italy, my father brought my computer for a repair, thanks to what I lost many old photos of mine. Then few years later we sold our Mac computer and while I was cleaning it out, I somehow skipped some folders and lost a bunch of photos. Another couple of years passed and my computer got hacked, during the process I lost all the photos I had, but managed to get back a third or half of them. Then I put all the photos on an external hard disk, which decided to die on me! 😱😭 I managed to recover some photos from my mailbox, from the letters and pictures I sent to my parents. I still haven’t got the chance to take that hard disk to some place to recover the photos (hoping it’s possible) cause I just don’t have the money.
If you arrived this far, congratulations for reading all that long and probably boring post :D Anyway. Do you see the patterns? Do you see, what the Universe is trying to tell me? It’s saying “don’t look back”, “forget the past”, “live in the moment”. And what do I do? I still whine about everything I’ve lost, not only material things, friendships, possibilities. I always think what could of been. It is so wrong and the Universe is working so hard to break me out of this terrible habit of living in the past! I am trying, but it’s very hard, cause it’s so strongly rooted inside of me! I better try harder, cause every time the lesson gets bigger and harder!
What are the patterns and lessons in your life? Have you solved any of them? What is your biggest challenge?
I wish for all of you to figure out your lessons and solve them, so you can have everything you’ve ever wanted ✨