I am currently trying to work on some issues,I am healing myself and why not share some things with you. Maybe you discover something you need to work on too :) Scrolling around internet you might notice how a lot of people talk about “loving yourself” and all that kind of stuff, most of the times they refer to loving the body you’re in and not about loving ALL of yourself! And how does this “loving yourself” even work? Do you love yourself? Some of you will say no and others will say yes. To those who said they do, I say – do you really? I am going to take a wild guess and say that the majority of people do not love themselves, they may not hate themselves, but that doesn’t mean they truly love and accept every part of them!
Negative self-talk. If you do that, then you don’t love yourself the way you should. You might not even notice, that you’re being negative towards yourself, sometimes the voice in your head screams insults at you and other time it’s a more subtle quiet hiss at the back of your mind. Take a day or two and really track your thoughts, try to be very conscious and observe what you think. Especially when you’re struggling with something, a task or an argument with someone. When life kicks you down, do you say: “It doesn’t matter, I’m still good at this. I’m still happy. It will get better soon and I will get through this.” Or do you say:”Oh look you fell again, what a surprise! You never get anything right! It’s all your own fault. You don’t deserve anything good anyway!”
Core beliefs. This topic needs a whole post on it, but I’ll try to make a quick explanation. Core beliefs are buried deep inside us and most of the time we don’t know they are influencing us. To find out you need to take your time and really focus and ask some questions, you need to be honest and very clear minded when you do this. Our core beliefs influence everything in our lives! And only when you change them from negative to positive you can be truly free, happy and peaceful.
Here are some links about core beliefs – 1.Want to ROCK Your World?—Change Your Core Beliefs!, 2. Core Truths, Core Beliefs and Obstacles to Progress, 3. Cognitive Therapy 101: Core Beliefs, 4. What are Core Beliefs?, 5.How to change negative core beliefs
And here are some to help you identify your own core beliefs – 1. Changing Core Beliefs, Emotional Reactions and Behaviors, 2. How To Find A Core Belief, 3. How to Identify Core Beliefs
Now that you have found your core beliefs go ahead and start working on changing them! I can’t tell you how or give you any tips, cause I’m still working on that myself. What I know more about is the Luule Viilma method and this is what I mostly use. First you need to find all the “stresses” inside you – fears, angers, blames, quilts, beliefs and wants. Yes, wants are a stress too! If you hold on to fear or anger it will hurt you, but if you hold on to wants it will hurt you too, so you need to let go of everything. You might think what’s wrong with wanting to be better, but wants are like obsessions and obsessing over something is never a good thing. Let me make an example list:
- self blaming
- self hate
- self negativity
- want to be better
- want to be perfect
- want to be without flaws
- fear to be a no one
- fear to be insignificant
- fear not to be loved
There are countless ways to let go of these and each one of us needs to find the right way for them, but let me explain how I do it. Of course you need to find a calm and quiet moment to be by yourself. You can do it sitting down, lying on bed, while taking a walk or washing dishes. You can do it out loud or just in your mind. Now you need to start a dialogue with your “problem”, you need to talk to it as it was your friend and some visualization often helps. Sometimes your fear might appear to you as a dark dense cloud or sometimes it’s a little scared child crying in the corner.
“Dear Self Negativity, I forgive you for coming to me and please forgive me for trapping you inside of me and feeding you, so you grew bigger and bigger. Forgive me that I didn’t know how to talk to you before and by ignoring you, made it even worse. I ask forgiveness from everyone who I might of hurt with my Self Negativity. Dear Body please forgive me for holding on to Self Negativity and hurting you with it, I love you. I forgive myself for hurting others, myself and my body with my Self Negativity, I let go of all the guilt. Dear Self Negativity please forgive me for not learning your lessons and for not seeing the teacher in you, I now release you and let you go, fully. Thank you for coming to teach me and now you are free.”
When you’re letting go and releasing, feel free to visualize your “problem” flying away or flowing out of you. Just saying all these words won’t help, you really need to feel the energy of the “problem” you are talking to. Also one time is probably not enough, you need to repeat until you will really feel free. For example when you forget about what you were releasing, it’s gone therefore you can’t even remember what were you doing :)
PS! If by now you think I’m crazy for talking to fears and guilts, then I can’t do anything about it. I know that it works, I’ve seen it but I don’t blame you for not believing. Feel free to leave this page, there is no point in judging.
I’m sure just visualizing the “problem” leaving you and saying “I let go of you” works well to, as long as you do it with love and strong intentions :)
Show your love. Also don’t be afraid to show your love. Go to a mirror and smile to yourself, give a big hug to yourself, say nice things to yourself. Say I love you! Then say it again! And again! As many times as you want, as many times until you feel warm loving energy all around you! If you have issues with your body, then get naked in front of the mirror and say I love you to your body, find parts you like and just look at yourself every day, cause sometimes you just need to get used to yourself, to your body! And also send love to your shadow self, to your personality traits you don’t like, bad habits and patterns. Let’s say you have a drinking problem, don’t think that by sending love to that part you’ll become even worse. By sending love you will heal that part of you!
Affirmations. You can find so many of them in the internet or you can write them yourself. Make them a habit, every day, until you start to believe them, until you become them! Here are some I wrote for myself:
- I accept myself completely
- I Love myself entirely, every part of me, physical, mental and spiritual
- I am enough and I am worthy of everything good, that comes into my life
- I am Lovable. I am Loved!
- I forgive myself all my mistakes, in the past and future
- I deserve Love and Happiness
There would be so much more to say, but I’m going to end it here for now. If you have any questions about Luule Viilma and her teachings, please let me know in the comments. I hope this post sparked something inside of you and brought you closer to the path of healing. I love you all so much, let’s love ourselves too now! ♥ And I just want to say that you will see your whole life change once you start healing and loving yourself! You will find a happiness you didn’t know even existed!